Bananas

Bananas are the perfect snack fruit; they lack the disadvantages of other fruits, like pre-fruital fruit washing (apples, berries), post-fruital hand washing (oranges) or the need for knives (mangos, kiwis) or non-disposable plastic clamshells (the sadly lackluster fruit salad available at your better bodegas). The only problem with bananas is eating them in public.

Seven Year Bitch

Have you ever seen The Seven Year Itch? It's one of the more angrifying movies ever made. Remember the first episode of Mad Men, where Peggy Olson shows up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at Sterling Cooper, and all the guys immediately start being gross to her? It's like that, only the people who made it were those guys, and they think this is a totally normal way to behave. It wouldn't be quite so wretched if the movie were just twerpy Tom Ewell trying to get his leg over with Marilyn Monroe, but the opening scene is basically a joke about gang rape (twenty "Indian braves" stalking a young woman walking by herself) and it sets the tone for making my head explode. (Billy Wilder also wrote and directed The Apartment—you win some, you lose some.)

But that dress.