The top half is cute, right? Pretty color, lavender piping and shoulder accents. They're like feminine epaulets. Epaulettes, if you will.
But there's something weird about the shape of Audrey One.
Even when I'm wearing Big Red, Audrey One has all these problems.
What is wrong with this picture? Wigs are supposed to make everything better!
It made everything better.
I love the idea of Audrey One, and in fact I wore it as Audrey One for Halloween a few years ago, complete with a shockingly realistic Audrey Two that my husband made from cornstarch, paint and a coffee can (not an exaggeration; cornstarch is a surprisingly versatile medium).
But the problems. For one, Audrey One is sort of transparent, and the deep v-neck makes slips an overly visible solution. Then there's that v-neck.
If you don't want to run the ever-present risk of exposing your bosoms to all and sundry (and I don't), you have to pin it shut, which ruins the line.
And speaking of the line...
The silhouette is weirdly dumpy.
You can make it look good if you concentrate really hard.
But who wants to work that hard all night? I'd rather put on something I feel comfortable in and concentrate on my amusing anecdotes.
So, what do you think? Can Audrey One be saved, or does it need a new home with someone who can make it work? I am leaning heavily towards losing it. Let me know your thoughts!
All photos by Claire Loeb!